Happy Valentine's Day!!!

On November 14, 2006, I opened my fortune cookie & it read, "Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you." I am not a superstitious person at all, but I believe that God has a sense of humor and that He is totally capable of speaking to me through a fortune cookie, if He so chooses! The first thing that came to my mind when I read my fortune was that we would be getting the good news that we were approved by PGN and one step closer to bringing Savannah home. What better day than Valentine's Day to get such wonderful news!

Well, that wonderful news did not come today and we are not out of PGN yet! But, I still believe that my fortune cookie was fulfilled on this day! The good things that were in store for me today were in fact gifts from God! Gifts of peace and an overwhelming sense of understanding. I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

Here are a few of my thoughts & insights that I shared with our agency today:

Our adoption process has not necessarily gone the way we would have liked, but today, I came to the realization that we are not the ones in control. God is in complete control of Savannah's life, she is His daughter first and foremost, and He is trusting us to be her parents. We know that He loves her more than we ever could and that He has a specific purpose for keeping her in Guatemala for whatever length of time she is there. We know that her foster mother, is giving her the love and attention she deserves and that she is receiving the best possible care. We are so thankful that God led us to our adoption agency. If it weren't for them, we would never have been blessed with our beautiful daughter, the one that God chose to be a part of our family before the beginning of time.

As a mother, my desire is to be with my child, to love and care for her in every way. This adoption process has been very trying and difficult. It is our first adoption and I have put a majority of my focus on the timeline...how long it's taking to bring Savannah home, how old she will be when she comes home, etc. Now I can see that my focus during these past few months has been misdirected and that my focus should be on God and His perfect plan for our adoption and for Savannah's life.

I have made a decision to stop looking at the online message boards and to stop following other families timelines. I am well aware of the fact that there are many unethical agencies & attorneys in Guatemala who are willing to do whatever it takes to bring babies home to their families quickly. As Christians, we are unwilling to participate in any unethical practices, even if it means Savannah would come home sooner. We do not want to compromise our beliefs to speed up the process. We are so thankful that we have chosen to work with a highly ethical agency who is proud to stand in the gap and follow the path that God has set before them. We are thankful that our attorney in Guatemala is also a believer and follower of Christ. It gives us such a sense of peace knowing that we are all held accountable to God for our actions.

We know that they are working hard to bring Savannah home and that they truly love her and value her life and how much she means to us as a family. We will continue to pray that God will pour out His blessings in full on everyone involved with our adoption. We know that God has already set aside a specific day and time for Savannah to come home to us forever. We cannot wait to see His plan unfold!

Over the past few months, I have found myself doubting our agency, doubting our attorney, doubting everyone involved in our adoption. My doubt then turns to anger and frustration which in turn becomes an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. These are NOT feelings from God!!! I have been led down that dark path of despair by Satan himself, and it has been a path of heartache & sadness. But today, I am going down a different path and choosing to follow God and His truths. I am going to have faith and trust His promises. I will not allow Satan to steal my joy anymore! I am walking into the light again and oh what a wonderful light it is!